Sexual Abuse: The concluding part

Bayo whose story was used in the first part of this topic explained that after his parent tried all forceful methods to call him to order with no avail, they tried a more subtle approach that involves talking and been more sensitive to his needs with time he opened about all he went through in the hands of his aunt which resulted in his aggressive behaviour. They apologize for all their insensitivity and tried to make up for all their lapses. As Mothers, mentors and even advisors, we have to live up to our responsibilities and save our younger generation from a stigma that can remains with them for the rest of their life. The truth is when a child starts suffering from the result of this abuse we are equally affected directly or indirectly. Recently, I overheard someone saying she doesn’t want to have a female child because they are more vulnerable to sexual abuse than their male counterpart. She is to an extent right but does anyone have the power to determine the sex of a foetus?
Research has shown that a child that has been sexually abused once can become a victim of another sexual abuse. To prevent a reoccurrence, the following should be done when a child has been sexually abused
- Be calm. Do not frighten the child.
- Allow the child to explain in his or her own words what happened. Do not interrogate the child so as not to confuse the child and make it harder to continue the story
- Reassure the child that it's not the child’s fault that he/she was abuse and give the child an assurance that he/she has got your back
- Arresting the culprit (If you desire however some parent will prefer not to make it a police case to protect the young child from stigma I agree to that too)
- Make sure that there is a distance between the culprit and the affected child. That is the child will not have to see this wicked individual for a long period of time. To enable the child gets over the trauma and depression.
- In a severe case that you cannot handle (even if you can handle it) it’s advisable to contact a notable child psychologist.
To protect a child from sexual abuse, the following should be done;
- Do not instruct children to give relatives hug and kisses. Let them express affection on their own terms
- Teach your children basic sexual education. Let them know that no one should touch any "private" parts of their body.
- Develop a good relationship with your children
- Teach your children that sexual advances from adults are wrong and against the law
- Some perpetrators try to instil fear into a child (e.g. If you tell your mum, I will kill every member of your family). Let your children know that no one is to be feared.
- Be prayerful
Children are priceless jewels, and the need to treat them as such can never be overemphasized. Show them you care and if you are still on the queue be ready to show them all the care and give them all the needed attention.

References:
American psychological association
www.rainn.org