Wednesday, 1 June 2011
Mummy asked why?
‘Because my Uncle (teacher) will tell me the answers only if I will allow him put his hands into my pants during break.…’
The issue of sexual abuse has been very prevalent in the world that we live in and our younger ones especially children are the most vulnerable. Paedophiles are everywhere ready to violate this children, uncles raping their little nieces, pastors defiling their church members, female/male house helps fondling with our boys and girls, exposure of a young child to pornographic materials and the recent rape of a youth corper in Nigeria by an Oba, has continued to make me wonder “what really is wrong with the world and why the moral decadence”?
Recounting his experience bayo said “when my aunt started abusing me sexually at a tender age of ten I gave my parent especially my mom some signs that I was been violated but they did not understand these signs. With time I became frustrated, depressed, and withdrawn. To show my parent my disappointment and lack of trust in them I became aggressive, unruly and withdrawn”. Children show signs in their little way to their parents and loved ones when they are been abused. Some even go the extra mile (Especially when you have a good relationship with them) to tell you of such happenings. This is where sensitivity of the parents and adults around comes in.
Signs of sexual abuse includes
- Withdrawal from parents, toys, friends
- Consistent nightmares
- Sitting/walking in an abnormal way
- Loss of interest in his/her academics or extra curriculum activities like sport
- Violence and aggression towards everyone
- Fear of been around a certain person, place and location
- Having panics or fears due to flashback of the abuse
- Inappropriate sexual knowledge and interest (Due to the sexuality of the child been aroused at a tender age, the child may engage in masturbation and pornography)
** If a child shows one or two of this sign does not necessarily means he/she is abused but you need to dig deeper to confirm or allay your fears.
Parents especially mothers (because we have seen cases of fathers sexually abusing their children), must be able to balance career and family. These children need our attention. Talk with them on the signs of sexual abuse; be their best friend, listen to their cries and need. it is known that children always have problems expressing themselves so be patient with them, correct them in love, avoid snapping at them, let them see you as someone they can chat with on anything and everything. Never trust anyone more than your children; Be it your pastors, brothers, uncles, sisters and even the house helps because most times they are the perpetrators of this evil. To be continued